Procrastination, motivation, and cogitation.

Sometimes I wonder how I have managed four years of college with such a strong affinity for procrastination. The only answer I can think of is that my motivation has had to have weaned from year one. I think back on my freshman year when staying up until 1am was a late night. I clearly remember spending three hours studying for my intro to psych class and kicking myself for not starting sooner. Then with sophomore year came organic chemistry which I thought would be the death of me. Those exams kept me up until 2am the previous nights. I had a rule (based on what I learned in intro to psych) that I had to get at least 6 hours of sleep the night before an exam. This is due to the fact that sleep is pertinent to memory formation, and that studies have shown that six hours is necessary to maintain learned information the following day.

Since then I have unconsciously made it my goal to challenge that silly rule and subsequently my necessary sleep requirement has steadily diminished. I am not even sure one exists anymore. As long as I studied the material and coffee is available, the previous day never really ends and any sleep obtained can simply be considered a nap.

And of course all of this is being written when there is school work to be done....

Sidenote: Mad Men, if you have not had the pleasure, is an unique, intelligent, highly addictive show that I made the mistake of beginning this past Thursday. I am now two seasons in (out of 5) and kicking myself for breaking (yet another) personal rule: never start a new TV show (especially one with more than 2 seasons) mid-semester. For precisely the procrastination issue listed above. I do not believe it is in my genetic makeup to watch a show at a healthy pace. Instead choosing to hole up, becoming even more anti-social, in a perpetually artificial nighttime environment (thank you room darkening curtains), performing only necessary survival tasks until said show has ended. Similar situations have occurred for Grey's Anatomy, The Office, ER, Gilmore Girls, Lost, Dexter, Bones, True Blood. It is in this way that I am able to finish entire series quicker than the actors are able to recount them.

Now some of you who have not spoken to me in some time may wonder how I have been. I am happy to report that life continues to progress in a forward direction (there was slight worry of a 22 year reversal). Also, for those who are unaware, senioritis increases about 10 times your second senior year. Worriedly, I seem to have reverted to 7 years old where white clothing has once again become a magnet attracting all colored foods. And as expected, each day I tend to like people less and less.

As for life plans and decisions, I am in no rush. The more I think about it, however, the more frustrated I become. Choosing a career that barely exists, in an area where no one has any idea what you're talking about, doing things that no one has been able to do or even considered doing is much like putting on a blindfold, taking a plastic sfork and creating a walking path through the Amazon rain forest. AKA, it sucks balls (for those greater than 28, pardon my crudeness). Sometimes Almost always I feel like my mental energy is stretched so thin, that it really is not doing any good anywhere.

Another way to look at it: say you have $100. You want a new pair of jeans (from the Buckle- about $100), a cat ($90), a new pair of Sperry's (about $80), a deep tissue massage ($70), a new pair of running shoes (about $100), and highlights ($80). Shut up, I know you all want these things. Well obviously you cannot just go to all of these places, tell them you only have like $15 to spend there, can you just have what you want anyway? They will tell you that you are dumb, please go away. Then you will throw your money in their face and express your entitlement to your things and proceed to take what you want, shouting obscenities along the way. Then they will presume to call law enforcement officials and you will be taken away by force. Your name and picture will be in the paper. And you will have to use your $100 plus about $1500 more from your parents, grandparents, long lost cousin, friend's neighbor's son to get your stupid self out of this ridiculous situation. Where you could have avoided all of it had you only decided to use your money on only one of the things you wanted. Get it?

Moral? When there are multiple things you need to accomplish, do not try to split your resources and achieve them all at once. Understand your priorities and use most of your resources for your top priority, giving resources to other priorities as you are able.

I am most likely going to stop ranting for now.

For those who actually wanted to know how I am doing, this post most likely did nothing to appease your curiosity. Evading real life worries and problems with dry, sarcastic and cynical humor tends to be one of my specialties. So I suppose you shall (if you care to) continue to wait in anticipation of my next written rant, which may or may not come in a reasonable time period and equally may or may not reveal actual emotions.