Sometimes I wonder why I let people who know me read my blog. I believe it filters my content slightly. Before anyone gets offended, let me explain. Someone who did not know me would not be reading my blog because they are interested in how I am doing. They would read it because they can relate portions of the content to their own lives. Whereas the people who do know me just read it for that reason (I am assuming).
I bring this up because there are many things that have and are currently happening in my life that I do not know how would be taken by people who know me. Basically, I try to censor my content so as not to offend, shock, surprise, depress, or anger anyone. Yet I realize that by censoring, I am leaving out much of who I am and what I do on a daily basis that is significant to finding my voice. So with all of this in mind, I am warning readers that I am going to try to censor less. That does not mean I will spill everything at once and overwhelm the shit out of you. But I will start being more open and forthcoming about what is going on and I warn you that some of these things are not/will not be easy to hear.
You may choose to refrain from reading. But if you choose to continue following please note that I will be speaking candidly about topics that are often taboo and stigmatized in our society. Also note that while your support, empathy, and listening ear (slash reading eye) are always welcome, I tend to loathe sympathy and advice. I have enough self pity for the population of China and am highly skilled at using it on myself, I do not need anyone else's pity. And to be blunt, if I need advice, I will ask. The point of traveling my own journey is figuring things out on my own.
And lastly, knowing more in depth about certain issues may spur worry. I can handle the occasional running at night quip (although I can tell you right now you are wasting your breath and/or your finger energy), however, unless I seem to be in danger of physically harming myself or severely putting myself in harms way (skydiving, paragliding, train-hopping, and bank robbing not included), please keep your worries to yourself.
With that said, here is a happy song. Another classic in the life of Jourdan.
One thought I had today: recently I read (or heard?) that every person in any dream one has is actually someone one has seen in real life, be that even a minute sighting. I occasionally have dreams where I meet the man of my dreams and actually had one of these dreams last week. I was in London (duh) and I decided to see a movie by myself before I had to go work at Scotty's (obviously). Well, I happened to meet a guy and we just hit it off and then we were lamenting that I did not actually live in London and how would we do this long distance relationship (oh if only those were the extent of my problems). But regardless of the content, I could not tell you who this guy was. But according to dream science, I have seen him somewhere in my life. Which makes me wonder who he really is and why is my subconscious unearthing him for the role of my dream man. And this is not the first time my "dream man" has presented himself and each time I have no idea who he is. But I can tell you that they all have a tendency to have shaggy hair. Actually the last one resembles Eric Hutchinson (see above song) now that I look at him. I always knew we would get married.
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